I had a dream recently. I was visiting a woman, she had a beautiful piece of land, rolling green hills and mature trees. It was a sunny day and she had a warm, comforting energy, she was one of my spirit guides. She then brought out her animal companions, they were two Tigers, one white and one black. They were regal, powerful but also playful and innocent. They were wrestling with each other, like children, creating a yin and yang in their tossling.
There was a message for me, and I began to research to understand what the yin and yang tigers were trying to teach me, it is also not a coincidence that I was born under the year of the Tiger in the Chinese Zodiac.
When a Tiger appears, the common interpretation is that Spirit wants you to be aware of your raw emotions, your willpower and strength, your wild passion, aggression, and fury. I resonated with this deeply, as I am currently healing from an event where I allowed the animalistic, primal energy we all carry within to explode (A Hardened Heart).
The Tiger also represents sexuality. What is my relationship with sensuality and pleasure? I believe that sex is sacred, and it denotes a special bond between two souls. However, are my views too limiting? Desire is such a natural human instinct, can one soul fulfill the carnal desires of another? I do not have the answers, but it is something to ponder. I do not want to cage sex, or dampen its energy, but I also do not want it to overwhelm me, or to have it be a major driving force in my path.
It felt like they were trying to tell me to be less serious, to be a bit more mischievous. In what ways am I too stiff, and where does this discomfort stem from? What fears am I holding on to as far as sex, confidence and personal power, and how do these fears manifest in anger and anxiety? How can I positively express sensuality? It felt that they were encouraging me to face these things, because they were keys to my energetic blocks, and they were reminding me that I have the power to clear and heal them.
Intuitively, I knew there was a deeper meaning. The Tigers in my dream formed the yin and the yang, they were balanced in their masculine and feminine. Balance is key, we need moments of silence and rest, but also action and excitement, we need to be compassionate and kind, but also powerful and unyielding, we need moments of joy and happiness, but they would not be as meaningful without moments of sorrow and turmoil. What is the balance I can achieve with being playful and mischievous, like the Tigers in my dream, while having reverence in relation to sex? Am I able to have fun, share this energy with others, without emotional attachment or expectation? At this moment, sometimes yes, and sometimes no.
The two Tigers, white and black, felt like a positive omen showing me that I can find the answers for myself. I can achieve a healthy equilibrium. I will be able to feel my anger, but not let it consume me. I will be able to face my judgments about sex, and clear old beliefs about the sins of the body. I will be able to come to a place where I can be more playful, but still stay true to my character. What does sex and pleasure mean to you? Can you still be in a committed relationship while sharing your sexuality with others? Is your desire to experience others, beyond your partner, sexually, a revelation that your partner is not enough, or is it a revelation that your appetite is too much? Or does it simply mean that you can enjoy it, and it is purely physical, and it does not detract from the love and connection you have with your partner? Again, this is personal for everyone, and I do not have the answers. But these are important questions, and we owe it to ourselves and our partners to explore them.
We will always have desires, even if we are in a committed relationship, it is unreasonable to think that our partner would never look at another with lustful eyes. So, what do we do with this desirous energy? Our insecurities would argue against it, but the part of us that wants to explore would be for it, how do we find the balance? Personally, I felt the Tigers in my dream were giving me the message to have more fun, take more risks, because my hesitation stems from fear, so I must try and heal that aspect of my soul. However, there were only two Tigers, and they were playing with only each other, so there is still much exploration within to be done. You decide what you are comfortable with, you must find your own balance, and doing that will help you understand more of who you truly are and what you truly want.